Note: This is a repost of a blog from Myspace, and of the first essay I did during my first semester of college for my English Composition I class. I hope you enjoy.
People will often notice that we all live in a possible world of doubt and uncertainty, vulnerability, divided families and economic hardship. I hate to use and old cliché when describing this defining moment, but like the apostle Paul “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:12b-13, NIV) I discovered this secret when I was 9 and going on 10 in the spring of 1999. At this time, there were many trials and triumphs going on. In January, my parents were having a difficult time with a rebellious member in our immediate family. In February, my dad’s grandma known as Grandma Ashley passed away; she was a very loving and kind person. In March, my mom’s mom and dad known as Grandma Re and Grandpa Ray celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary, with a special reception in Hutchinson, Kansas. In April, Grandpa Ray grew very ill and the doctors couldn’t figure out why; and on the day of the shootings at Columbine High School, around April 19th, 1999, he had surgery and the doctors found that he had Stage IV pancreatic cancer which was terminal because it had spread to his liver. Sometimes people with cancer this advanced die within 6-8 weeks. At that point my mom would travel from Oklahoma City, OK to Hutchinson, KA to attempt to help both Grandma Re and Grandpa Ray in the midst of the turmoil. I asked to go on one of these trips, and my mom was always glad to have me along. While riding in the car with my mom on the way to Hutchinson, Kansas, I told her I thought that I was ready to commit my life to Jesus Christ. Knowing how much this would mean to Grandma Re, who was a very strong Christian, she asked if I could wait until we arrived in Hutchinson, and I said yes. Later that day, I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart; this is the day that God chose me and was a real change and has become my identity and lifestyle. Let me show you what I mean.
During my spring break of 2007, I took a mission trip to Chicago, specifically to Chicagoland. I stayed at a church and saw many things which might make you consider it to be the cesspool of Satan. I saw the alternatives (Goth, Punk) area and an alley called “Hell” where they had made a mural of that place called Hades and the people the alternatives wanted to meet there. I also met a Wiccan, hopeless religious pluralists, gays/lesbians; impoverished people who received very little help from welfare, and even a person some might consider a false prophet. There were some good experiences and some bad ones; but seeing it through the lens of Christ; I came to see it as God’s dwelling place, a place where people were searching for truth and for hope. Since then, I’ve wanted to go back sometime and maybe later I will.
In the past, there have been many deaths in my life, and there will certainly be more in the future including my own. Of course, you probably know of the death of my Grandpa Ray. There was also the death of an uncle, and my dad’s only brother, in a car wreck in Alaska at age 41. There was a death of friend who bled to death after being stabbed accidentally by his mom, he died at 17. There was the death of my Grandma Re, whose body I saw myself, who died in her 80s. This work is not to argue for the afterlife, but to “know” that a physical death isn’t the end and that you will see family or friends again certainly helps. This is not a belief I hold to out of wishful thinking or simply because it’s comfortable, but a conviction that has been a light in trying times, and certainly a bright one at that.
I hope this work has shown adequately how my relationship with Christ has been a light in dark times, and how it has changed my life and defined who I am as well. This isn’t to infringe on the beliefs of others, nor is it meant to proselytize, but I certainly hoped you enjoyed reading through it and take it seriously. Specifically, I have learned that people shouldn’t be ashamed of brokenness, not to take things at face value and that death isn’t necessarily the end of a relationship but the beginning of a better life. As all great writers do, I accept comments and constructive criticism. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Post Essay Note: this is simply an essay telling about a defining moment in my life, not an argument for the existence of God. Thanks.
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